The Girl Called Rachel



“I’m going to have a Long Island Tea Party.”

It’s been so long since I’ve watched the British Office…

I miss the glasses with the bevelled bottoms that we had when I was 5. Is that something everyone remembers? The dishes you ate off of when you were a kid. Is that something to be nostalgic about?

Danny Masterson is good in the background. He is really reactive. It’s not only the front lines who have to be emotive.

Kitty: Red! Red! Cousin Alice wants to know why Eric and Donna’s wedding is off.

Red: Well just tell her what your son did.

Kitty: Oh, now he’s my son. Just like when he told us he wanted to be a jazz dancer. Well he’s our son, Red.

Red: No son of mine would humiliate his family by running off on his fiancee.

Kitty: Alice, the wedding is off because Eric is… gay. You’re right, everybody knew except him.

Reason to like Donna: She was on the JV Boys Wrestling Team.

Fez: Eric was afraid getting married and staying here was a mistake. [puts on football helmet] You know because you would be giving up your dream of traveling the world and becoming a — ball-breaking feminist.

Donna after accidentally pushing Hyde off the water tower: “Why am I stronger than all the guys I hang out with??”

Reason to like Kitty: She gets a Christmas card from the Jose Cuervo Collectors Club.

“Ahh. It’s like I’m walking on a big pile of baby ducks.”

“Man, you just don’t understand what’s it’s like to have a bed that hugs you like you’re a little baby! It’s like crawling into a mommy kangaroo. I miss my kangaroo.”

None of this would be possible without the advent of DVR. The arrow button is my favorite thing. Skip back a few seconds and watch that again.

These people became friends because of television. They were growing a friendship alongside their characters. They have eaten a lot of popsicles over the years. A popsicle is something you really only eat with friends. When would you ever find yourself eating one with someone you didn’t like? It’s a popsicle. It’s portable. Take it over to a friend or get some peace and quiet and have chuckle about the joke on the stick. It’s such a playful food. People usually don’t have bad memories associated with popsicles, except Karl Pilkington.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you look close enough and find an extra in the Verizon network commercials texting during the filming. You get enough people in one space for more than five minutes and someone is bound to start texting.

There are new pictures of Lindsay Lohan that have Perez Hilton asking if she is a cutter because it looks like she has scars on her wrists. In what seems to be the original size of the photo, her wrists were too small to see something so discreet unless someone was looking for it. Is there a whole branch of gossip sleuths who’s only job is to look for pictures of celebrities’ wrists to examine for signs of depression, in order to exploit young women and disallow private and personal evolution and recovery?

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