The Girl Called Rachel



Marriage 70’s-Style

Taken from That 70’s Show:

Red: Oh come on, Kitty! Enough with the silent treatment. [leans in] I didn’t say that I like tea because Pam is pretty. I said that I like tea because you were kind enough, and courageous enough to open my eyes to a whole new world of hot beverages. Which is just one of the millions of things that you have done to improve my life over all these years.

Kitty: [looks over] So now I’m old.

[Donna and Bob enter with a purpose]

Donna: Mr. Foreman? Will you please talk some sense into my dad. Last night he went on a date with Jackie’s mom.

Kitty: Ooooh! You hear that, Red? Looks like your girlfriend is stepping out.

Bob: Donna, Pam’s just what I been looking for! I’ve loved pretty women, and I’ve loved smart women. And I’m going back to pretty.

Donna: Dad, don’t you think it’s a little suspicious that she just got back and she’s already latched onto you?

Bob: I’m a very cute man, Donna.

[Kittys stands]

Kitty: Bob. This is clearly upsetting Donna. How can you date her?

[Red stands]

Red: Yeah, how can you date her?

[Kitty turns to face Red]

Kitty: What does that mean?

Red: What?

Kitty: You emphasized “her” like there’s something special about her.

Red: [laughing] I just said what you said! [turning for the door] But you must have missed it because I was on my way outside to mow the lawn.

—————

Question: Is this what marriage is like? Wives jealous of hotter neighborhood moms (Brooke Shields)? Scheming step-siblings? Husbands who only do housework to avoid getting yelled at by their smarter wives?

I love Kitty.

Kitty Foreman

Kitty Foreman

  • She’s a nurse who explains the uterus to her son on the weekly.
  • She protects her kids from her angry husband, but is still able to be a disciplinarian.
  • She’s a classic suburban mother and wife, but she’s not afraid to be sexual.
  • She likes to drink, but not to a dangerous level.
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