The Girl Called Rachel

The Office is back!

Maybe I’ll figure out why I watch so much TV if I talk about everything I am enjoying while it is happening. What does each episode bring up that makes it such a priority in my life?

Why do I value this passive inaction over human interaction?

This is whom I look to when I’m sad and bored and excited and tired and vulnerable and numb and happy and indifferent and awake. These are the faces images I have chosen to be in front of me in times of struggle, so as not to feel any pain.

People I can’t talk to. People who are covered in makeup and plastic surgery scars and hairplugs and are suffering eating disorders and reciting words someone else has written for them. Maybe that’s what we have in common. Scars that we don’t want anyone to see and the things we do to mask them.

None of us are without scars. And there are very few of us who don’t marinate in popular culture banality and absurdity. I feel shame for being titillated by the culture that most times belittles my existence, and voluntarily and enthusiastically giving strangers money to access more of it.


So let’s see if I can curb my enthusiasm for the quantity of TV I watch, and try to reverse my arrested development at the age of 23. This may only last a day. I may be delusional thinking this is anything someone would want to read. But I think hidden between the seemingly irrelevent notes about actors and scripts and total garbage, I might say something that makes sense and strikes a nerve. Who know’s what will happen, but let’s see where my brain and DVR take me.

The Office is back!

And me at my cubicle. Type type type.

This is glorious.

My best friend…

The girl who’s best friends are Jim and Pam.

(In perfect pronunciation)
Learn your rules
You better learn your rules
If you don’t
you’ll be eaten in your sleep
((cat sound))

I think this is the best episode so far
It’s like an Office mystery.

This will win an Emmy.

Acting and Writing and Directing

A story of compassion and morals.

Look at this lighting! This is well-designed.

Good cinematography.

It’s all grander than it used to be.

Like a short film.

Will   He’s Just Not That Into You: The Movie   be as ubiquitous as the book?

A short personal reflection should be required before going online to see what others have said about you. Why are we so eager to see the attention we have garnered from our peers? It’s the reason for Facebook’s popularity. People wanting attention.

This is great. Funny and tragic

These actors are connecting. The funny characatures are gone. This is more raw than Improv

This is so so awkward. “Yes! Like an improv conversation.. An improversation.”

What the fuck! I just thought of that. That’s like John Edwards shit!

Discussion of sexual positions with other lovers. In front of everyone in your office.
What could be more awkward? “Making love making with me?”

This is so HD, I can see how his buttons are stitched onto his tweed jacket.

Jim is flexin’ nut this afternoon. (how disgusting is that terminology!) The way sitcoms are being written now, I bet the next joke is how wet Pam is… (That phrase could make a certain man ejaculate).

That’s right, Ladies and Gendermen! (Is that a Freudian slip?) You’ve heard of all the tired old fetishes: Leather, roleplay, whipped cream! But get ready for the fixation that’s sweeping the nation of funny young men with a sensitive side, who’s best friends are nerdy coquettes with big natural breasts. Let me present to you:

The Jenna Fisher Fascination !!!

Jenna Fischer as seen in Blades of Glory
Jenna Fischer as seen in Blades of Glory

Wow…Oh my god, imagine surviving a plane crash…

A Prius? What an obvious topical incidental advertisement.

Look at all the pollen on the car. This is supposed to be January?

Angela was sleeping with both of them???!!! Holy Madonna-Whore Complex, Batman! Jesus…

A tankoort joke? Is that Tina Fey’s inclusion of women who feel uncomfortable in bikinis?

“I must have ox fever! When did I walk barefoot near an ox?” Kenneth!

They don’t even show full-on vomiting on Fear Factor! Was there a struggle to keep that in? Is it that shocking?

New York is a city people come to eagerly, but how often do I entertain?

Making a woman dance for a flu shot! How droll.

This episode has been like an episode of I Love Lucy directed by Ed Wood…

“It’s not the size of the bible. It’s the motion of the devotion.”

Katie Holmes for Miu Miu
Katie Holmes for Miu Miu

That Dutch “Lily Allen exposing her third nipple” interview must have been an interesting benchmark in both of their careers.

What is that Katie Holmes Miu Miu ad supposed to mean with her hand in the fire? Fearlessness? Self-abuse? Lunacy?

Kristin Schaal featured in Oct/Nov 2008 issue of Bust
Kristin Schaal featured in Oct/Nov 2008 issue of Bust

Flight of the Conchords-> Mel-> Kristin Schaal!!

“It’s like the Republican party has a shit sandwich. How do you get Americans to eat the sandwich?”
“You dip it in chocolate and you say it has no calories.” That was too quick, cold and calculated…

Bethany McLean has a crush on Jon Stewart. Or just a very giggly laugh.

I can’t wait for The United States of Tara. Toni Collette is amazing.

David Gregory is a sexy badass member of the D.C. press corps. Like a salt and pepper Danny Concannon. And I should add that Jewish boys are my favorite boys… “The guy memorizes four words and he plays like he’s intercontinental.”

Shepard Fairey isn’t too bad either!

“People actually follow the path of least resistance, and and [sic] frequently are not actually happy with their lives. But if they are confronted with the idea of having to make the choice whether to obey or disobey, I think frequently they’ll, at least, have an inner dialogue and maybe make the choice to, uh, do things the way they should be done rather than the one they are being told to do them.”

–Shepard Fairey, artist, disobedient boy
on The Colbert Report, January 15, 2009

It’s a little wordy, but a good ending for tonight.

Shepard Fairey's Make Art Not War
Shepard Fairey’s Make Art Not War

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